I am fascinated by people, their stories and who they really are beneath all the layers we accumulate from life. I always say that if you stop and talk to someone for long enough, you will understand their true story and find real connection. Something I have learned in life, that beyond all other things, we are all looking for love and connection. We all have a story and being entrusted to know a person’s story is deeply gratifying and helps me be a better professional.
Someone asked me recently what is one word for you that holds meaning in 2020? Connection.
It seems to be an epidemic that everyone is struggling with depression and anxiety I see it in my practice from teenagers to millennials to people in their 60s and 70s. I watched a documentary once on happiness. They studied all different types of people. The common denominator was connection with others. Whether through volunteer work, family, or living in a community, the people who felt true connection were happier and more fulfilled than those trying to do it all on their own, regardless of the challenges of everyday life.
Happiness would be the other word. Happiness and Love are synonymous to me. I fully agree Dan Baker, PhD who wrote "What Happy People Know." He outlines the 12 qualities of Happiness, his number one is LOVE. The other qualities are:
Optimism- gives you power over fear of the future and regret from the past.
Courage- rise above the fear
A sense of freedom- freedom is a choice, one that fills the soul.
Proactivity- Don't wait for events or others, forge your own way.
Security- nothing lasts, like who you are.
Health- feeling good and happiness are interdependent
Spirituality- find that sense of extraordinary, joy and beauty from within.
Altruism- to know pure joy, it to be of service to others.
Perspective- find the shades of grey in all situations.
Humor- laughter heals the soul.
Purpose- know why you are here and what you are meant to do - your dharma.
It is so much easier to connect with others, and hear their stories when you are in alignment with yourself. When you feel good, it's effortless to share the love and joy with those around you and you are also less likely to get "butt-hurt." Especially if you live by Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements."
Don't take things Personal
Be impeccable with your word.
Always be your best.
Love and Connection, that is what we are all striving for.
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